my name is asynartesies. well obviously that's not my real name, but I'd prefer you call me that.

I am someone whose ambition far outstrips their ability, but that hasn't stopped me yet.

if you're a business-type person, my business email can be decrypted from fxdsfwyjxnjx[fy]lrfnq[ity]htr and the number five. if you're not a business type person, tweet me with @asy8s.

if you want to reach me by snail mail, address your letter to:
President Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin
Grand Kremlin Palace
Moscow 103073, Russia